Mads: Can't Read my Book

I was in the park, finishing Kazuo Ishiguro's Never Let Me Go, waiting for my Boston friend to get through with whatever he was doing so we could go to my summer house in Provincetown, when a woman in her twenties joined me on my bench. She wasn't that attractive.

"Whatcha readin'?"

I showed her.

"Is it any good?"

I nodded, then went back to reading. I was annoyed, because I had ten pages left, it looked like a good ten pages, and I wanted to enjoy them.

"Have you read the new Harry Potter?"

"Do I look like a moron?"

She answered with a sheepish laugh. I went back to my book again. I could tell my ignoring her made her uncomfortable. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her mouthing things to a group of people her age about thirty feet away. I surmised that they gave her the courage to approach me. If I had known, I'd have nipped this in the bud earlier.

"Go back to your friends, you're too young for me. Also, I don't date women who read Harry Potter."

She stayed a few seconds more, too stunned to leave me. My Boston friend showed, and now I was really annoyed, because I hadn't finished my book, and would still be working on it in Provincetown. I wanted to be on a fresh book down there.

"Who's your new friend?" He said. I shook my head. "Oh, I know you kids, you hang out with Gwen. Don't you have an episode of Stargate to watch or something?"

She looked morose, and her friends were confused.

"Here," he said. He pulled out a wad of money. "Go to the sci-fi store and buy yourself some ice cream."

On the way to Provincetown, Matty asked if I got her number.

"I'm sure we could fix the Harry Potter thing if we had to."

Awful Jackass.

Harry Potter

Gwen, the Cappie, came out of my room dressed like a twelve year-old.

"What're you doing, getting extra work as a decoy on To Catch a Predator?"

"No, I'm [don't remember] from the Harry Potter books. I'm going to the midnight release."

"You read Harry Potter? How old are you?"

"It's not just a kid's book. It has adult themes in it."

"No it doesn't. That's just what adults tell themselves when they read kid's books or watch movies like Finding Nemo. There are plenty of books that are well written by adults for adults. I can understand someone who hasn't read anything substantial telling me something stupid like that, but you've read Tolstoy, for God's sake, you should know better."

She shook her head.

"Well, are you coming with me or not?"

I had to admit she looked hot in her little outfit, so I relented.

"Now, you're not going to be a crab the whole time, are you?" She said.