Mads: The Pizza Dominatrix

Abdul Karim and I were up for some pizza the other day, so he went down to the new place up the street to grab us some. He came back about forty-five minutes later, and he didn't look happy.

"What took you so long?"

"I ran into some trouble."

I noticed in faded red letters the word "PIG" on his forehead. I asked him about it.

"I don't want to discuss it. Let's just eat."

I needed to know what happened, so I decided to do a little solo mish down there one night, just to get the full scoop. I perched myself on the roof of the restaurant, and viewed the goings-on from a skylight. It was not a pretty sight.

I'm big fan of extra anchovies, and so is Abudul Karim. Unfortunately, extra anchovies is a code, a la Loverboy, for something a little more. People who order that are actually ordering a session with the Pizza Dominatrix. I'm guessing poor Abdul Karim couldn't convince them that he just wanted the pizza, and suffered accordingly.

The roof I was sitting on gave way, and I fell thirty feet, onto a big bed. Had the businessman that was chained to it five minutes before still been there, I have no doubt that he'd have perished in cushioning my fall. I was pretty embarrassed, but I couldn't lie, the Pizza Dominatrix was hot. I got her number before I exited out the back door.