Trajan's UFC

I had some friends over the other day to catch the UFC where Liddell was beaten by Rampage. During the first fight, they went to shots of Mandy Moore in the crowd. She didn't look too comfortable, and I noticed a figure making peace signs right to her left. It was my buddy Trajan, the author. I had to call him.

"Oh yeah," he said. "I went to the UFC with her."

"What? She invited you?"

"No, I invited her. I was out in LA and bumped into her. She wanted to talk to me about one of my books, so I told her to come with me. I had to catch the senior citizen's bus to Vegas."

"You took the senior citizen's bus to Vegas?"

"Oh yeah, it's a goldmine for writing material. I met a guy who worked for Howard Hawkes in the 40's. He knew William Faulkner."

The story sounded very dubious. I made some phone calls. In fact Trajan was sitting two seats over from Mandy Moore, and he jumped into the picture, against his wife's wishes. Not only that, but the wife was none too pleased that she had to ride the senior citizen's bus with him.

The Revenge of Bobby Budnick

...It makes me wanna fart.

It's I hope we never part, now get it right, or pay the price!

Let's just say, I don't think Ug, or anyone else, will be making any veil threats of that kind to Bobby Budnick anymore.

I'm a huge MMA guy. Mads, who's a practitioner of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, got me into the sport, and I've been hooked ever since. The problem is that out here on the East Coast, the UFC tends to ignore us. The last time we had an event was back in October of 2005. In order to get my fix, I have to see fights in smaller circuits, including under ground cage matches.

It was at one of those that I saw a red headed man with a mowhawk. I thought it may have been Ed Herrman from the Ultimate Fighter: Season 3, but I was wrong. His name was Danny "The Destroyer" Cooksey-- that's right, the guy who played Bobby Budnick.

And man, did he enter the ring with bad intentions. He immediately shot his opponent with an expertly executed double-leg take-down. From there he effortlessly passed the kid's guard, and proceeded to rain elbows on his face. The fight ended in a bloody 51 seconds.

If I was Sponge or Donkey Lips, or even Dr. Kahn, I'd be a little scared.