My Recent Trip to Germany

I was at an outdoor cafe in Hamburg, drinking a beer. Two Germans walked by, and I heard one say:

"...at that point I'd had the diamond-shaped butt plug in for 23 hours."

I shuddered, and went back to sipping my drink. A man, looking for an empty seat, approached my table.

"Is this seat taken?"

He was Patrick Stewart. I told him it was his, and he joined me. The same two Germans passed by us again.

"...then it popped out, right in the middle of the check-out line."

We looked at each other. I spoke first.

"You know, my hotel has a great bar in the lobby..."

"I thought you'd never ask."