After Mads, my Norwegian companion, and I watched the finale of Age of Love we thought: we should do our own. We had our own early 30s bachelor in Matty, and it wouldn't take long to go through our considerable stables of women to find 4 kittens and 4 cougars. We were doing this.
"No way," Matty said.
"Are you kidding me?"
"Totally not. Why would I do that?"
"We have eight hotties, competing to do you. What's better than that?"
"You're a moron."
Mads and I decided to go ahead with the show anyway, and just tricked Matty into showing up. It took him a second to figure it out. The women had no idea he didn't know. I was waiting for Matty to take me aside or call me out, or maybe even go along with it, but he took an entirely different track: he sat in his chair and didn't say anything, watching the Sox game. I turned it off.
"You're killin' me, Matty."
He walked over to me.
"Let's get down to brass tacks here. I'm not Mark Phillipoussis (sp?). I have a bad Australian accent, I suck at tennis, and I'm 5'7" and out of shape. You've got no show here. I'm sorry, but they're just out of my league."
He patted me on my back. I looked to Mads, and he nodded in perspicacious agreement.
Showing posts with label age of love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label age of love. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
The Crying Game
Reality TV tends to be a rather emotional affair, especially when you consider that most shows are competitions, and then being video taped 24 hours a day doesn't help. That being said, there are points where the crying gets ridiculous. Just ask Jen on Big Brother, after she cried when her picture wasn't good enough. Who does that? What a moron.
That brings me to a friend of mine I just got a phone call from. He met a girl at a party who was going on a dating show with tennis pro Mark Phillipoussis (sp?). They hit it off, and decided they'd keep in touch after the show, whether she bags Mark or not. She was booted not too far in, so they got back together, and a romance ensued.
He noticed some weird behavior from her, like when she would cry over small things like a woman cutting her in line at the 7-Eleven, or in having a conversation about baseballs at a Dodgers game laced with sexual innuendo. Sometimes she'd say "I don't even know why I'm crying", which made him even more apprehensive. He was, after all, considering taking her to meet his mom.
Anyway, so her show airs, and the shit hits the fan. She's crying in every scene. She's crying next to him while they watch it because she's so embarrassed she's crying so much on the show. He told her it was all right, but then he stopped returning her phone calls. I asked what she was like when he officially called it off with her.
"She was pissed at me."
"Ooh, crying and angry. Not a good look."
"No, she didn't cry. She was defiant. Even when I told her it was from all her crying, she didn't cry. It almost made me regret dumping her."
"Umm, I can see that, a sudden back bone after all that weepiness."
"Yeah, and she also straightened her curly hair and was wearing this hot dress." He shook his head and thought for a second. "I guess it's like the saying: Women, you can't live with them..."
"...And they can't do stand-up comedy."
That brings me to a friend of mine I just got a phone call from. He met a girl at a party who was going on a dating show with tennis pro Mark Phillipoussis (sp?). They hit it off, and decided they'd keep in touch after the show, whether she bags Mark or not. She was booted not too far in, so they got back together, and a romance ensued.
He noticed some weird behavior from her, like when she would cry over small things like a woman cutting her in line at the 7-Eleven, or in having a conversation about baseballs at a Dodgers game laced with sexual innuendo. Sometimes she'd say "I don't even know why I'm crying", which made him even more apprehensive. He was, after all, considering taking her to meet his mom.
Anyway, so her show airs, and the shit hits the fan. She's crying in every scene. She's crying next to him while they watch it because she's so embarrassed she's crying so much on the show. He told her it was all right, but then he stopped returning her phone calls. I asked what she was like when he officially called it off with her.
"She was pissed at me."
"Ooh, crying and angry. Not a good look."
"No, she didn't cry. She was defiant. Even when I told her it was from all her crying, she didn't cry. It almost made me regret dumping her."
"Umm, I can see that, a sudden back bone after all that weepiness."
"Yeah, and she also straightened her curly hair and was wearing this hot dress." He shook his head and thought for a second. "I guess it's like the saying: Women, you can't live with them..."
"...And they can't do stand-up comedy."
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