I had just taken another bong hit, when my phone blew up. Hamburglar answered it.
"Who is it?"
"Robble robble."
Birdie? At this time of night? That can't be good. I took the phone.
"Mayor?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"Look, it's not my fault. I'm in jail."
"What happened?... Forget it. I'll just come down and bail you out."
At the station, I found out the whole story. Birdie was pregnant, and she and the baby's father decided to make a little cash robbing a post office. They were arrested.
"If you needed the cash, why didn't you come to me? I'd've helped you out."
"I just wasn't thinking. Please, don't tell Ronald."
"What makes you think he won't find out eventually?"
"I don't know... are you gonna bail out Trevor too?"
"That the baby's father?"
"Yeah."
"What? You cannot be serious!"
"What are you, John McEnroe?"
"No... no, I'm not. I'm sorry... you didn't deserve that..."
Showing posts with label birdie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birdie. Show all posts
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Mayor McCheese: Heads Up With Ronald
With Moon Knight back in town, I thought it might be a good idea to keep a low profile, so I had the gang over for a little poker night.
Now it might be a good idea to explain how the table plays. Grimace: he's been known to lose pots on purpose just to make people think he has no clue; Officer Big Mac: plays very conservatively, and gets really pissed when he loses hands, especially when he had the better hand and ended up getting a bad beat; Birdie: she can definitely hang, and I hate being heads up in a big pot with her; the Hamburglar: impossible to read; finally, Ronald: I've never seen anyone better at knowing what his opponents are holding.
I'll cut right to the chase. The cards were coming my way; it was just my night. In the end, I found myself heads up with Ronald, and I had about a two-to-one chip lead. My first hand was ace-queen suited. I called the big blind and left it to Ronald. He raised. I went all in. And then it happened.
"Get buck naked bitches!"
Two men in ski masked barged in. I could hear from the voice that it was Verona, probably coming to reclaim his VCR. Ronald was not impressed. He gave me look. I thought he was going to try something, and he wanted me to have his back. I was wrong.
The windows of my house were shattered, and four men in SWAT gear swarmed in. They took out Verona and his friend with a taser.
"Are you all right, sir?" One of them asked Ronald.
"I'll be a lot better when I get out of here."
Whatever.
Now it might be a good idea to explain how the table plays. Grimace: he's been known to lose pots on purpose just to make people think he has no clue; Officer Big Mac: plays very conservatively, and gets really pissed when he loses hands, especially when he had the better hand and ended up getting a bad beat; Birdie: she can definitely hang, and I hate being heads up in a big pot with her; the Hamburglar: impossible to read; finally, Ronald: I've never seen anyone better at knowing what his opponents are holding.
I'll cut right to the chase. The cards were coming my way; it was just my night. In the end, I found myself heads up with Ronald, and I had about a two-to-one chip lead. My first hand was ace-queen suited. I called the big blind and left it to Ronald. He raised. I went all in. And then it happened.
"Get buck naked bitches!"
Two men in ski masked barged in. I could hear from the voice that it was Verona, probably coming to reclaim his VCR. Ronald was not impressed. He gave me look. I thought he was going to try something, and he wanted me to have his back. I was wrong.
The windows of my house were shattered, and four men in SWAT gear swarmed in. They took out Verona and his friend with a taser.
"Are you all right, sir?" One of them asked Ronald.
"I'll be a lot better when I get out of here."
Whatever.
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