I had to pick up Gwen at the airport the other day, which is weird, considering I don't drive, so I was just meeting her at her gate so we could both take the T back home.
Anyway, I'd hit this Chinese food buffet about 2 hours before, and absolutely killed the fucker, but it was hitting me back with a case of the ol' Delhi Belly, and I needed to make a trip to the bathroom. While in the stall, a man touched my foot with his from the stall next to me. Then I saw his hand come into mine from under the barrier. I freaked out. In my current position, I was helpless. So I yelled out to him to cut the shit.
"Sorry, I just have a wide stance. My foot tends to wander."
"How do you explain the hand?"
"Reaching for toilet paper...?"
No dice. I called the airport police from my phone, and they saved me. The man was in fact trying to solicit gay sex from me. According to his statement to the police, he thought I was sitting there waiting for him, because he couldn't smell any offending odor coming from my stall, hence I'd have only one other motive for sitting in an airport bathroom. That damn courtesy flush, it works every time. Wide stance my ass.
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