Evil Baboon

Gwen, the Cappie, won two tickets to a big comic book convention out in San Diego, so I accepted her offer to join her out there.

At the zoo, the baboons had taken over, and were holding some of the zoo keepers hostage. One of them, the Evil Baboon, had acquired some bombs with some horrific virus that was contained in green balls, and he threatened to unleash it on the city. For some reason the zoo asked for my help. They brought in the one baboon who had ever escaped from the zoo, and with him, we were supposed to sneak in and free everyone.

The whole thing semmed asinine, but I played along. The baboon who had escaped knew all these little secret passages and whatnot which were extremely difficult to get in and out of. After I twisted my ankle falling out of a tree, I was fed up. I let the baboon do his thing while I put together my own plan: the Trojan Baboon.

We put a bunch of SWAT inside this big wooden replica baboon and wheeled it in, then gassed the hell out of those fuckers. Only one zoo keeper was hurt. The baboon that I'd been working with was very upset. He bit me as I went to shake his hand. So I kicked him in his red ass.