The Spiner Femme

Gwen, the Cappie, dragged me to another one of her conventions. Well, I shouldn't say dragged me… because I'm kind of starting to dig them. At one point Brent Spiner approached me with a desperate look on his face.

"Hey man, it's me… Brent… you met me at the Aviator premier, remember?"

"Yeah, man… what's the problem?"

"I need to hide out at your place for a little while…"

He dove into this harrowing tale of how a chick dressed as a cleaning woman got into his room and started giving him homemade calendars with his pictures all over them; and she showed him pictures of his appearances at various conventions, which were so numerous, she could stack them and flip them and make a de facto video of his time on stage. Then he saw the fan fiction and erotic drawings. He thought he was safe when the maid whose clothes she stole called the cops, and the crazy woman was arrested. But no, somehow she ended up at the convention.

I took him back to my place, and it just so happened Star Trek was on Spike. He did not want to watch it.

"I hated this episode," he said. "In it, I put on some mystical mask that takes over my mind and body. Do you know how badly I deserved an Emmy for having to act this crap?"