Let's Play Hardball

Forming an exploratory committee for Hubert was a bigger deal than his appearence at the Bruins game a month ago. I forgot that no one watched hockey anymore. But they do watch MSNBC, and Chris Matthews' people approached me about doing Hardball.

"Hello, and welcome to Hardball. I'm Chris Matthews. With us today is the campaign manager to Hubert Humphrey, here to talk about his candidate's platform. Hello and welcome."

"How are you Chris?"

"Good... Let's start with the war. Last week the people of this country voted essentially against the war... they said they'd had enough with stay the course... but the newly elected Congress has decided to wait and see what Baker turns up... my question to you is, if your candidate is elected president, will he remove the troops... will he say it's not working... it's not worth losing more good lives... that we've got Shi'a fighting Shi'a, we've got Shi'a fighting Sunni, we've got Kurds trying to break away... that in a year... two years, it won't make a bit of difference except in terms of losing more lives..."

The question actually went on for about two more minutes, before he finally turned it over to me.

"So you're asking if Mr. Humphrey would pull our troops out if he was elected?"

"That's what I'm asking. The American people want an end to this war... they said so last week at the polls... they're tired of losing Americans over there and getting no result..."

That went on for another two minutes too.

"Mr. Humphrey is in a unique position, in that he is not currently holding office. Now, if in 2008, the situation is as untenable as it seems now, of course he'll pull the troops. But if in two years we see progress, of course we'll keep doing what's good."

"So you're saying if he were in office today, he'd keep the troops in for two more years?"

"I'm saying that since he isn't, we can only answer what he can do. He's not in office today, so..."

"But what if he was?"

"But what if my parents were pigs? I'd be the B in a BLT."

"I want to draw your attention to a recent USA Today/Gallup poll. The American people picked Humbert Humphrey by a margin of about two-to-one over Hillary and Barack Obama. What does that say about the Democratic party that their best presidential candidate is a 95-year old man who's been dead for 28 years?"

"You tell me, Mr. Matthews, you tell me."

"No, I'm asking you."

"It says that 28 years after he died, the climate is right for him to run, I guess."