Caged Heat

There was a knock at the door the other day while I was watching Maury. I answered it, and there was a woman on the other side. I would've offered for her to come in, but something about her didn't seem right. She was kind of pretty, but she had on too much make-up. She was wearing a long coat and a skirt with go-go boots. I could see the edge of a tattoo peaking out from under her shirt right above her breasts, and I tried to discern what it was without staring at it.

"Can I help you?"

"Is Mads here?"

I had to know that Mads, my Norwegian companion, had something to do with this.

"I'm sorry, he's out, can I tell him you stopped in?"

"Um... okay. My name's Peaches... um... Mads was my pen pal..."

Oh my God. Pen pal? I couldn't help scowling.

"Um... I just got out of prison, you know? and I really don't have anywhere to go right now... would it be all right if, like..."

I should've just said "No" and slammed the door in her face. Instead I relented and let her in. It was an awkward twenty minutes that seemed like four hours before Mads would come back with our food. I offered Peaches a drink, but she couldn't, because it would be a violation of her parole.

When Mads finally showed up he didn't recognize his friend.

"Oh, good to see you hired some talent while we watch more Maury."

I cleared my throat and nodded my head in her direction. He didn't get it. Peaches finally stood up and put her arms around him. He pushed back somewhat, but he was still in her grasp.

"Do I know you?"

"What! Are you kidding? We've talked for two years."

"Peaches? Oh my God... you look so different from your picture... what're you doing here... in my house...?"

"The return address was on all the letters you sent..."

I glared at him, and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Remember when I got those cute Donald Duck address labels? I kinda used them on everything."

Long story short, Mads gave Peaches $500 to get a hotel and whatnot. I shook my head.

"You know, if you give them money, they'll keep coming back for more?"

"Maybe that's not such a bad thing."