Shake Drippage

It's a common problem among all guys. Whenever they take a leak, there's excess urine hanging around at the head of the penis. If not dealt with properly, it will slide all the way down their leg after they put their dank back in the pants and zip up.

I have come up with my own solution to this issue: I dry it on those little decorative monogrammed towels that people often have in their bathrooms. Works like a charm.

Last week, Mads, my Norwegian companion, was called down to Savannah, Georgia for a brunch held in his honor by a bird watching society. Naturally, he had me join him.

After a few mimosas, my back teeth were floating, and I made a trip upstairs. The house was very old, probably the former residence of slave owners back in the mid-19th century. As such, the doors acted funny, and I thought I had it locked; but it turns out I didn't, and an old lady caught me as I was dealing with my shake drippage on their nice towels. It was not a good look.

When I got back down, there was an awkward tension, and the old lady intimated something surreptitiously to the comrade sitting next to her. I was waiting for the bomb to drop, when the door bell rang. I looked at Mads, and knew he had something up his sleeve. I thought maybe he hired a hooker like Borat, but it was worse: The Dog Whisperer. What an asshole.

"Birss? I cahno wheesper to birss. I haim the Dog Wheeperer!"