My buddy Jonas just came back from LA. He seemed beat, and so Mads, my Norwegian companion, and I, had him rest on the couch so he could get his strength back.
"What were you doing out there?" I said.
"You wouldn’t believe it if I told you."
And he told us. He was making a living as a sober friend. Sober friends are hired by celebrities to keep them on the straight and narrow.
"It’s harder than it sounds: not too much to drink. Keep them away from the coke. What’s that in the medicine cabinet? I don’t think he prescribes that many at a time. Do you really need Red Bull at 3AM? After a while I just couldn’t take it.... And the paparazzi, don’t get me started! I needed these over-sized Jackie Onassis sunglasses just to keep from losing my sight with all those flashbulbs!"
"I was a sober friend once," Mads said.
I looked at him. He couldn’t keep a straight face, and we both laughed.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Fuckers like you were the reason I couldn’t get any rest at night."
We looked at each other again. You thinking what I’m thinking? We jumped up and gave Jonas a huge wedgie.
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1 comment:
How do you become a sober friend? I have been sober for 30 years and wrote a book on the 12 step program. I am interested in the job. Who should I contact?
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