I'd barely been back in Boston two days before my mom showed up. With all the cash she has, I'm utterly shocked she decided to stay with my Boston friend and me. She wanted to go to a "skeezy American town" and bowl, and wouldn't shut up until I took her.
We went north, into Maine, and finally she felt all right in a little town called Brewer. It was close to 10:30 on a Saturday night, and all the locals were in full effect. We went to a bowling alley, and the place had black lights and glow-in-the-dark paint and bad upbeat country. My mom sniffed the air, looked around, and exclaimed:
"This is it!"
She got hella wasted and took some random older dude in a trucker hat and flannel shirt and no teeth out to the parking lot and into our limo. I sat outside on the curb with my hand in my head. She then kicked him out onto the ground in front of me, because "his dick was too small!"
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