ESPN has been showing the NCAA softball championships. I've always had a thing for softball chicks. I like the ones with the slightly muscular legs and the solid, well developed butt. The ones that can pitch or hit like a beast. The ones who braid their hair then tie ribbons of their school colors in it. It's just too much.
During Spring Break of 1991, I met Alexandra, a softball chick from Florida State. She had everything a guy could want, and we were hitting it off really well. I thought she could be The One. We were inseparable for the whole week.
At the end of our time together, I convinced her to let me try and hit some of her pitches. She agreed, and we went to a nearby softball field.
She looked amazing in her tight uniform pants and high socks and cleats. I thought I could marry this woman.
That's when it happened. She was very competitive: it only makes sense considering she was a Division I athlete. But I'm not slouch at the plate either, and after a couple of pitches, I caught up to her fast ball, and timed her screwball. I was cranking the ball to all fields. She couldn't get a decent pitch by me.
That night at supper, she wouldn't let it go. She was grumpy the whole time. I tried to validate and quantify things for her, but it just made it worse. She was pissed at me, and our love affair dissipated quickly.
Here's to you Alexandra, you were one of the good ones. Sorry you were a shitty pitcher.
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