Thursday, July 12, 2007

Reno Hard 8's

With my sizeable financial holdings, I decided a few years back to purchase a minor league baseball team: the Double A Reno Hard 8's. It was a disaster.

First was my mascot, a giant octopus. I love big, furry mascots, and I thought an octopus would be a cool step in the mascot evolution. I was wrong. He had trouble hugging little kids, his tentacles would get caught in the wheels of the golf cart as he rode around the field, and he couldn't do the "YMCA". Kids were weirded out by him, and parents started taking their kids else where for fun.

Second, I tended to undermine the manager's authority when it came to the players. When I was in town, I insisted they party with me. The coach didn't like this, and was especially mad when half his team couldn't play the next day with hangovers. He also didn't like it when I called down to him during games telling him when to switch pitchers, or when to hit-and-run-, or even how he should position his fielders.

Finally, I never considered how difficult it would be competing with the casinos in the area. Every promotion I did was trumped by them. I'd have a most improved student night where the kids would get into the game free, they'd have most improved student night where the kids would get $25 in chips. There's nothing I can do about that. I made a huge stink in the area when I hooked up with a brothel for a "Lady's of the Night Night". First 1000 people get coupons. The community didn't like that at all.

I sold the team a year later. It was an experiment I'll never try again.

2 comments:

.::. ariane phillips .::. said...

I was browsing through blogs today and happened to come across yours. However, it doesn't quite make sense - is it suppose to be your character talking in the blogs or you? Because if it is you - there was no such team.

Direct to Video Connoisseur said...

I took this directly from the description of the blog underneath the title: "They're [the blogs] all about a fictitious character and his Norwegian companion, Mads". I hope that clears up any confusion.