Monday, April 30, 2007

Mads: Expedition II

After dispatching of the one Predators, I made my way back to the camp. I was listening to "The Ghost of You" by My Chemical Romance in my iPod. I know, not the best music, but I stole it from one of my students and didn't have time to put some great Adult Contempo on it before we shipped off.

The other three Marines were dead as well, and the Iranian was dressed as Sinbad, not the comedian, but the Persian folk hero.

"What's the matter with you, are you some kind of damned idiot?" I said.

We camped out and had a lunch of Caspian Caviar and SPAM while we watched an episode of the OC on the iPod. I'm not a big fan of the OC, mostly because it's a bad rip off of 90210 w/out Steve Sanders.

Don't get the wrong impression: we were as worried as anyone would be knowing two Predators were out there looking to do us in. Between us we only had the Iranian's curved knives, and he needed both of them to complete his outfit. On the other hand, I had about fifty miniature Degree anti-persperants that I'd grabbed from the student union before I left, and by covering our body in that, we were as invisible to the Predators as they were to us.

Degree may be a good defense against Predators, but it ain't shit against bears, and we had one with a hankerin' for Persian Caviar only two feet away. The Iranian stood at the ready with his knives.

"You'll never beat him one on one, dude."

"Well what do you suggest, you lazy Norwegian? He's not a helpless seal."

This was no time for racial slurs, and even though I had plenty of Iranian jokes up my sleeve, I tabled them for a better time. The bear was a more pressing concern. I looked through the iPod until I found "Dance Dance" by Fall Out Boy. Luckily bears have superior hearing to us feeble humans, otherwise I'd've been screwed because we only hand headphones, and no speakers. But the headphones sufficed, and by the end of the first chorus, the bear ran away in pain.

"What did you do, you Norwegian voodoo master?"

I put the head phones up to his ear. Dance Dance...

"Yeah, that makes sense."

No comments: