Sunday, April 29, 2007

The FF Error Card

When we were kids, one of the greatest baseball cards was the Billy Ripkin Fuck Face Error card. Billy Ripkin was a weak hitting infielder for the Baltimore Orioles back when his brother Cal was one of the greatest players in the game. Someone had written "Fuck Face" on his bat, and it was in the picture taken of his card. It was the only thing he was ever famous for, other than his brother. It was like the Holy Grail of sports memorabilia.

I accompanied Gwen, the Cappie, to a little shop that specializes in both comics and sports collectables. While she was looking for key Captain America issues she needed, I perused the card collection. When I saw it, I almost passed out. The Fuck Face Error card in all it's glory. The old man running the place couldn't see it, and I bet all the kids coming in wouldn't know to look. I got it for $.15, an absolute steal. I've never been so happy in my life.

The fucker wouldn't sell on Ebay, though. No one believed it was the real deal, and everyone thought I just photoshopped it. It became the dreaded albatross around my neck: too precious to discard, yet too worthless to sell. It was Billy Ripkin's revenge.

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