Separation Saturday

Separation Saturday: 7 games featuring 14 teams in the AP Top 25. This was the biggest day in college football in 13 years. I was ready. I started my day off by watching College Gameday, which was disappointing because Lee Corso picked the USC Trojans to win, meaning that he didn't put on a huge goofy mascot head, but a Trojan helmet. At noon I stayed in and watched BC win another double OT game, this time against BYU. I decided to go to Harry's bar to watch the Michigan/Notre Dame game. Harry's is a very exclusive private bar that very few people can gain entry into.

I brought the book I was reading: Evelyn Waugh's A Handful of Dust, and I was glad I did, because Michigan killed Notre Dame, and the game was over by halftime. I could've watched the LSU/Auburn game, which was close throughout, but that would have meant moving to another table, and I didn't want to do that, so I became engrossed in my book instead.

I was brought back into the world of the bar by a male voice with a German accent.

"Hello, can you tell me where the bathroom is?"

I looked up. It was Arnold Schwarzenegger, flanked on both arms by two Drag Queens. Of course, two questions immediately popped into my head: why was Arnold in Boston when he should be in LA for the USC/Nebraska game?; and what was he doing with two Drag Queens? My first question was answered by Mitt Romney, who I saw at the bar. He shrugged his shoulders at me and shook his head. Mitt was at the BC game, probably upset at the result being that he is a card carrying Mormon. I bet Arnold's flight was late, and he was supposed to be Mitt's guest at the game. My second question was answered just by observing Arnold: he didn't know they were Drag Queens.

"Hello, are you there?"

"Yes... sorry. The bathroom? Go down those stairs at the back there, take a left at the fat guy with a moustache. Keep going until you see the cigar store Indian. Go through the beaded curtain with the print of a magic mushroom on it. You should see a group of old Chinese men playing Mah Jong. Give them this:" I showed him the surfer's "hangloose", "and say 'Shaka Bra.' One of the guys should look up from his game and point you into the direction of the Men's Room with his head."

"Okay, dude, viele danke."

"Bitte, baby, bitte. Jesus, Michigan just scored again..."