I shot down to DC a couple weeks ago to catch the Monday night opener of Washington's Football Team (I can't bring myself to call them by their racist name). After making the rounds of the the party scene until 6 in the morning, I made my way over to a Waffle House to grab some breakfast. The place was almost completely empty except for one couple sitting at the other end of the restaurant.
I almost coughed my hasbrowns smothered in Heinze 57 Sauce when I saw who it was: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Oh my God, this was amazing. I usually don't get starstruck, but Tom Cruise!
Should I say something to him? None of the staff seemed to recognize who they were. It was surreal. He was wearing a black V-neck cashmere sweater and jeans, and she was kind of wearing the same thing. They were having a conversation, but I couldn't tell about what.
The waitress refilled my coffee and I ordered some more hash browns. I love these hash browns with Heize 57 Sauce. I love them. I love them! Oh shit, we made eye contact. I quickly looked away. What a moron I am. I was trying to think what the one thing would be that I'd do if I met Tom. Probably I'd try to get him to do that patented Tom Cruise run. Was it really patented? The patent's probably pending.
I wonder if he'd try to recruit me into the Church of Scientology? Scientology wouldn't be so bad, as long as I didn't have to read that L. Ron Hubbard hack sci-fi writing. God that shit sucks.
He paid the bill, and they got up to leave. This was my big chance. I looked at him as he walked by. He gave me a nod, and I gave him the chin up with the raised eye brows. And they walked out of the Waffle House.
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