Yes, that's right, I've been to Disney World. It's not necessarily the greatest thing I've ever done. I was afraid the whole time. It was the Sixth Reich, the kind of fun only a Facist would dream up. There was a sense that had I stepped out of line, I would be intestinated. And no, I didn't have Christopher Lambert there to save me.
Perhaps my problem was that I was closing in on thirty when I went. Maybe I was too old to enjoy the innocence... no, there is only Evil in that Magic Kingdom. And Epcot, with it's little countries... it reminded me of stories I heard of Japanese doctors taking prisoners of war and cutting them open and displaying them by nationality. I went to the disected abomination of Mexico and ate a tortilla soup for $32.
Disney World is one of the few places I know where Mads was unable to be Mads. The moment he smoked a cigarette in the wrong place two people with things in their ears took him by the arms. He fought back, only to have them set up a perimeter and swarm him. To this day he won't discuss the horror he endured in the Disney Detention Center.
The best way to sum up Disney World is in a Lifetime movie called The Colony, which starred John Ritter before he died. In it, a man is invited to live in a perfect gated community... only to find out it's Evil. In one scene, Ritter's dog had its vocal chords removed for barking too much at night. If there is a better metaphor for the eyesore on humanity that is Disney World, I don't know what it is...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment