SOAPNet

So anyway, I got some invites to go out the other night, and I didn't make it. I found out I my cable company recently picked up SOAPNet. I figured it was just going to be your run-of-the-mill daytime soaps like Days being reaired or something. Nope: they had Melrose and Beverly Hills 90210.

It was insane, I was yelling at the screen for Sydney to dump Michael, and for Allison to deck Amanda. And don't get me started on 90210. It was the one where Ray throws Donna down the stairs. Pure comic gold.

Around 8 I saw that they were reairing the day's soaps, so I figured I was out. Not quite yet: my cable company also picked up the Lifetime Movie Network. Abduction of Innocence with Dirk Bennedict was on, followed by Perfect Tennant with That Guy in it.

It was over. The phone was rininging off the hook. Some of my friends made a trip to my house.

"What are you doing? I thought we were going out. I got backstage passes to the Stones."

"Oh, Jesus, I would, but look at this movie, it's got That Guy."

"Just TiVo it."

I could, but then I considered how if I went out, I'd just be longing to go back and watch what I'd TiVoed. No, it wouldn't work.

"You guys go. This My First Mr. movie with Albert Brooks and Leelee Sobieski looks too hot to miss."