My Dateline Sting

After watching some of those stings Dateline did with Perverted Justice to catch internet predators, I thought I might get in the game myself. I wanted to nail those bastards too, and I figured it could be my good deed for the month.

I enlisted the help of my buddy over at BPD, Mickey Freeman, and he got some of his fellow officers to hang out across the hall at a vacant apartment to arrest the guys we caught. I also got the Commander involved. For those who don't know, she's the Trekkie who wore her Star Trek uniform while serving as a juror on the Whitewater trial in Arkansas. With a baseball hat and some clothes from PacSun, she looked just like a pre-teen boy. She felt it was her duty as a Starfleet officer to help out in the community, and this sting operation of course fell under that rubric.

Unfortunately, the sting was not all that successful: we only caught three dudes. We also had a thirteen year old girl show up, who for some reason pretended to be an old man top get dates with teen boys. Your guess is as good as mine.

Then She came: a forty-something brunette with an amazing body, who looked like a model for a shampoo commercial. It was love at first sight. I pleaded with Mickey as they took her away in handcuffs, to no avail. Apparently there isn't a hotness clause in the criminal justice statute: the law applies evenly to old, gross, fat men who live with their moms; and extremely attractive older women who just made one mistake (or fifteen, as her wrapsheet explained).

"I'll bake you a cake with a file in it," I yelled to her as they carried her off. The Commander and I decided that'd we'd done what we needed to do, and we grabbed a few beers and discussed a little Trek. I was her guest of honor at the convention the next day, which was pretty cool.