Giant Sized 75th Issue Spectacular

I guess Gwen, the Cappie, and some of her friends found some Batman fan movies on YouTube, and they got all excited. They wanted to make one of their own with Captain America. That's when she came to me.

"Of course I'll play the Star Spangled Sentinel for you in your movie."

"Um, no, we already have a Cap. We wanted you to play the Red Skull."

"You already have a Cap? Who?"

"Um, Mads."

"Mads? What are you talking about?"

"Well, we saw him on PBS and in GQ and thought he'd be perfect for the role. Plus, we thought it'd be kind of ironic to have a Norwegian play Captain America."

"And he agreed to do it?"

"Yeah, he loved the irony of it too."

"Oh..."

Well, needless to say I turned down the role of Red Skull. I just didn't think I was right for it. I did see the movie on YouTube, though, and was rather impressed. The movie was pointless, of course. Gwen played some reporter that was kidnapped by the Red Skull, and Mads as Captain America saved her. It was only five minutes long. Mads, in true Mads style, said the most asinine things, like "Red Skull, I know you broke the vase and blamed it on DJ. Now Danny and Uncle Jesse will never trust her again," and "why don't you ever blink? What are you, the Runaway Bride?"

I kind of missed Mads, and one single tear dropped from my right eye. I wiped it away and turned to Patrick Stewart, who was waiting patiently for me.

"Let's go grab a beer."

"I thought you'd never ask."