Norwegian's have a rich soccer history, starting with Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, and ending with Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. With that being said, when I heard about the university's intermural soccer tournament, I knew I needed a team. I contacted the Footballer, who was in Bulgaria at the time, and he sent me eleven players that I immediately got enrolled in classes.
My job as team manager suited me well. I prowled the sidelines, smoking, drinking, and yelling at the refs, who were just student volunteers. I was barred for one match when I ran onto the pitch and stole the ball after one of my players was cut down with no call. It took them 20 minutes to get the ball back.
After we completed our clean sweep of the tournament, I grabbed the cheap little trophy we won, and blew it apart with my .44 Magnum. That caused a stir, because firearms are apparently not allowed on campus. Someone should've told me that sooner. I then threw a huge party at the night club I'd created out of the frat house, only allowing my players and women from on campus to come. I was called into the Dean's office the next day, which was Thursday.
He threw a copy of the campus news paper on the desk. It had a picture of me with my mouth wide open yelling at the spectators with a gun in one hand and a bottle of Absolut in the other. I had a Norwegian national team scarf wrapped haphazardly around my neck.
"I'm not even going to say anything," he said.
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