Captain America A-Go-Go

I was having a cigarette while Hubert Humphrey tried to get the Minnesota Vikings to the Super Bowl on Madden 2007, when Gwen came in waving a VHS cassette.

"Check this gem I found at the Goodwill."

It was some old 60s Captain America movie, entitled Captain America A-Go-Go. It looked rather dubious. In order to avoid conflict with Hube's game, we took it into my bedroom to watch it. It was a trip.

The whole thing was Cap trying to fight bad guys while being surrounded by hot women in go-go boots and short skirts. He'd be chained to the wall, while they fondled him, or he'd beat the Red Skull, and they'd fondle him some more. There was no real dialogue, just some sketchy male narrator, and this music that sounded like some variation of "Tequila": lots of brass and guitar.

I was stunned. So was Gwen, only less so because she'd found this rare piece of Cap memorabilia.

"Hey, I'm gonna order out, you guys want anything?" It was Hube. "Hey, watcha watchin'?"

"Captain America A-Go-Go."

"No shit. I'm in this. Rewind back to the 33 minute mark."

We did. There was a young Hube, dressed as a French sailor, sitting at a table in some seedy bar with a stripper on his lap. He was watching with excitement while another woman danced in front of them. Then he made a half-hearted attempt to fight Cap when the Star Spangled Sentinel came in to do whatever. I don't really know why they were fighting, and neither did Hube.

"I needed the cash, so I just whatever the director said."

I looked at the box. It said 1961.

"Weren't you a senator back then?"

"Okay, I didn't need the cash."