I was watching Kaui and Taquita with the Hamburglar and Big Mac aficionado Ron Gorske, when Moon Knight burst in and pulled his tough cop routine. I exhaled a bong hit in his face.
"Listen, Mayor," he said. "We can do this the hard way or the easy way."
I was ready for him this time. I pointed over to the other side of the room. Mac Tonight was performing "The Lady is a Tramp" on my piano. Moon Knight released his grip from my collar, and fell to his knees.
"God damn you!"
"That's right, Moony baby, McDonald's own-a La Luna. Why don't you guys kindly show Mr. Knight the door?"
"Robble Robble."
"No, wait. I came because I needed some information. I gotta find the Tuna Cutter. He's been hired to kill a close friend of mine, and I need to stop him."
"What's in it for me, Moony baby?"
"I have an autographed 45 of "Careless Whisper."
"By George Michael, or just the other guy?"
"Both."
"You got yourself a deal."
He went home and brought it back, so I played ball. The Tuna Cutter was catching an encore performance of Menopause: The Musical at the MacArthur Playhouse, and Moon Knight could find him there.
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