Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Mayor McCheese: Cult of the Mayor

About three years ago, Chi Town was getting me down, and I felt it was time to get on the road. I hit up a used car dealership and picked up a Volkswagen bus. Then I scooped my Ethiopian Orthodox Bible and some Ethiopian food, and went to a Todd Agnew and Hillsong/Delirious? Christian rock concert. I set up shop with some of the other evangelists outside my VW bus.

The kids seemed intrigued, and I just reeled them in. I told them the true book, unfiltered by the old Catholic Church, is in the Ethiopian Orthodox Bible. I told them the food I was eating was the same that Jesus ate. Then I had them tell me about themselves. I endeared myself to the ones who said their parents had money, and recruited them onto the bus. I travelled the Christian rock circuit, living off kids' parents, and pocketing the profits. It was a real uplifting experience.

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