The Match Game vs. The Street Luge

I had been having problems with my peripheral vision, and made an appointment to have it checked out. Unfortunately, I was lost in the building where I was supposed to see the eye doctor. I decided to try a random room to ask for directions. Bad idea.

The room I was in was straight out of the 70s. In fact, it was straight out of The Match Game. There were six actors dressed as celebrities, like Nipsey Russell, Richard Dawson, and Charles Nelson Riley. I went to turn and leave, but a man playing Gene Rayburn stopped me and pointed with his skinny microphone for me to sit down.

I did as he instructed, and found my body couldn't move with the ease I was used to. I looked down, and saw that I was wearing a polyester plaid suit that was very tight. I went to wipe the sweat from under my lips, and found a moustache there. Not only that, but my hair had turned into a curly Jew-fro. I was scared.

And that fear impaired my judgement. I did horribly on the show. When I got the question: "Farmer Brown was very mad at the doctor, because he told him his wife's head hurt, he examined her [blank]" I said "Cat". I also had the sinking suspicion that Richard Dawson was mailing it in on my turn. Either way, I had to accept the consequences of my loss: the street luge.

The wall behind the celebrities gave way to a huge downhill road. I found myself dressed now in a Red, White, and Blue leather jump suit, with the same hair and moustache. I was given the skinny board with wheels, and Gene motioned for me to ride it down the hill. I did, and the last thing I remembered was crashing into a pile of rubber tires.

I woke up on a bench in Chinatown. Was it all a dream? I looked at my reflection in the window of a nearby shop: the moustache was still there!