People often ask me if I'm bitter about the way things went down with McDonald's. In short, absolutely not. It's not their fault those rat bastards Sid and Marty Croft sued them. I'd'a like to throttle that H.R. Puffenstuff if I ever got half the chance. The truth is, the Hamburglar and I made a little trip down to his little brownstone apartment, and threw a fucking brick through his window. Attached to the brick was a coupon for a free large French fry with an order of a Big Mac or Quarter Pounder. This was of course in the days before the Value Meal. It should go without saying that this information doesn't go any further than here.
I stayed on with McDonald's as a consultant afterwards. The McRib, McDLT, and the McJordan are just a few of my more stellar contributions. It was hard to watch Ronald emerge from behind my shadow to become the face of the franchise, but I learned over time to understand that it's all just part of God's plan. It's probably more difficult now knowing that with the King becoming some kind of underground marketing success for Burger King, that we can't cash in on my fame post my Conan O'Brian appearences.
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