My Second Poetry Reading

Gwen invited me to another one of her poetry readings, and based on my previous performance, the café owner insisted that I recite another piece. My brain was a tad off due to drinking four Tab Energy Drinks, and I could only think of The Match Game, which I had been watching while waiting for Gwen to get ready.

I gave it a go anyway.

"Hello people," I said. There was cheering. Someone yelled "Gay Rodeo!" in reference to my earlier work; another "Buttless Chaps!". "Here's what I got for you people. A little extemporaneous piece entitled Farmer John's Blank." More cheers.

Hello, Gene,
My name is Susan
I have three children
And live in Van Nuys
I'll take question A
My mind races
Farmer John said:
My wife was so happy last night
How happy was she?
She was so happy
Instead of buttering my rolls
She buttered my [blank].
I can't think
I say the first thing that comes to mind
Pickle
The crowd boos, my face turns
Crimson
Please Robert Urich
Not a Match
Brett Sommers?
Buzzer
Charles Nelson Riley, you're my man
0 for 3
Blonde chick from that Kojak episode
Not even close
Richard, I'm begging you
I feel my heart drop
Fannie Flag, you're my last hope
But it wasn't meant to be
It was an honor to meet you Gene Rayburn.

I sat down. I expected the applause, like before. But there was dead silence. The MC uncomfortably took over, and announced the next poet. I found out later that no one in that room knew what The Match Game was… none of them had been born prior to 1978, and none of them watched enough TV to see it on the Game Show Network. C'est Dommage.