My man Joey Fatone, formerly of *NSYNC, was in town, and we went out and grabbed some Vietnamese food in Chinatown. I ordered a beef and lemongrass dish, and he ordered a Pho soup. My beef tasted off, though.
"This is deer meat, not beef," I said.
"You mean venison?"
"What're you correcting me? They're two terms that mean the same thing."
"Well, do you call pork Pig Meat?"
"Don't be an asshole. The point is that my beef was substituted with deer meat. I mean, it still tastes good, but it's a little disconcerting that they'd think they could pull a fast one on me like that."
"Here, I'll take care of it."
He called over one of the waiters and questioned him in Vietnamese. I have no idea what he said, but before I knew it, we were standing up and some more wait staff were taking our dishes for us. We were led out of our cramped dining area into a large, open room, populated by a few scattered Asians. We sat and were given the best of everything.
"What the hell did you do, man?"
"My secret baby... and if you're wondering, yes, your beef dish was venison. One of the staff went hunting a month ago and bagged him a doe. They figured they could pass it off on unsuspecting Caucasian patrons. Good taste buds."
"It's still called deer meat."
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